*MY JOURNEY: My Search for Meaning*
“My God, this is terrible”, the wave says. “Look what’s going to
happen to me!” Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking so grim, and it says to him, “Why do you look so sad?”
The first wave says, “You don’t understand! We’re all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn’t it terrible?”
The second wave says, “You don’t understand. You’re not a wave; you’re part of the ocean!”
This little story has always reflected two of the most important lessons one must not ignore in his lifetime.
Firstly, we are here on earth living not only for ourselves but for others… I have, for as long as I can remember, lived and done things for my family, for my friends. And they are the ones who give meaning to my life up to this very day.
I share everything I could and have, from food to assignments, from my time to just any kind of things from any kind of people… Though I am not wealthy, I don’t have every material things which I could tangibly share to anyone who asks, I take more pleasure for the simple things I can give and can do for the people who are important to me and strangers alike without asking for anything in return or expecting any recognition for it. It makes me so much happier knowing and seeing the people I love happy.
There were many selfish things I have done, thinking those were the things that made me happy. I know I can not undo the things I have already committed, but to make up for such acts, I see to it that I give more. Not out of guilt but something that comes from the heart. And it makes me feel satisfied.
Secondly, it reminds me that I would eventually die. As everything that gets born, dies. I’m young and most people would say to me to live life to the fullest and worry about my problems tomorrow. I tried but I just don’t have the pleasure to have the happy-go-lucky personality.
But what if you will not make the most of what you have today and tomorrow you die? Of course there are regrets but is it really how one should live her life? I think we are often in denial that we are going to die. As a result, we try to work our butts off for a higher salary, bigger house, more expensive cars. But do these things really make us happy?
I’m young and I should be full of dreams of having a beautiful future, which culture equates to having so much money and material things. Well, I would be a hypocrite saying I don’t dream all the luxuries the world could offer. Obviously, our culture makes us do the things that everyone else’s doing. So we tend to walk around with a meaningless life. We seem half-asleep even when we are busy doing things we think are important or the things we automatically think we have to do, as a result, we don’t experience the world fully. This is because we are chasing the wrong things.
We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, relationships, having lots of money. We’re involved in trillions of little acts just to keep going. So we don’t get into the habit of standing back and looking at our lives saying, “Is this all? Is this all I want? Is something missing?
The way to get meaning into your life therefore, is to devote oneself to loving others and offering others what you can give.
So here’s what I am trying to do… I’m creating my own subculture wherein, I can do the little things I know would help me and others grow to be more human. Having my own subculture doesn’t mean I could just ignore norms and rules of the land. No. But there are big things culture can not dictate us. That is, tell us how we should think and tell us the things that we should value.
Keeping this in mind, we should be able to enjoy the kind of freedom in which everyone’s benefited. How? By doing the things which are meaningful to me, that is, sharing and loving others. “When you learn, teach. When you get, give.”
As Auden said, “Love one another, or die.” For me, love is the root of all the good things in the world.
And this is how I want to be remembered when the times comes for my earthly body to decay. Answering now the questions ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Why am I here?’… I am a loving daughter, sister, and friend. And I live for others as I need others to exist. —fgbc 
